Friends categories

I have noticed that I do have friends categories, they are all my friends and I love them but everyone plays a totally different role from the other. There are friends who keep your secrets, they know all about you and you do not feel well till you get off your chest what you keep hidden from others to them, they know what you need, they keep listening to you asking for details that nobody may care about to show you their concern, you end your confess with an extreme relief that somebody else but you knows. But you don’t bother secrets keepers with your everyday problems, you keep them for emergency cases, so here comes the second category, everyday friends, these who are online with you the whole day, you call them when you have bad day at work, when you find discounts in the mall, when you buy a new mobile phone or when you need someone to hang out with and you`re sure they'll be there as soon as possible since you are number one on their priorities list. But some of your everyday friends don’t like your activities so let’s jump to the third friends category, activities friends. They are these ones who share with you all your activities- jogging, cycling, swimming, museums visiting, yoga classes...etc.- If  you are in the mood of doing  a new activity all you have to do is to call one of them to spend wonderful time. My final friends category is phone friends, you don’t get ever the chance to meet but you keep in touch and you end your every single call with hopes to meet, you do like them and share with them childhood, workdays or neighborhood memories, in spite of busy life and distance that separate you from them you always find time to make that charming call.

I used to get angry from my everyday friend for not sharing lots of activities with me, or to get upset for not having the chance to hang out with phone friends till I realized that I was expecting things from the wrong person so categorizing friends helped me with looking for the proper friend in the right moment.

P.S.

You can be very lucky and have a common friend between more than one category, you can have that secret keeper and everyday friend in one friend or the secret keeper, everyday friend and activities friend also in one friend. Oh God, how wonderful would that be!!!! If you were that lucky don't let go of that friend and make sure to be a good supportive friend as she or he is.

Addiction

I really hate drugs more than anyone can imagine. I hate more people addicted to any kind of drugs, I simply hate how liar and weak they are, they look to you just in the eye lying without feeling anything. Who do they think they are ruining others life then acting as innocents feeling lonely and denied by others. Of course they should be denied they did let go of the most important gift given to human being which is dignity and they abused others love and trust. But that will raise the question don't they deserve second chance? Doesn't anyone deserve a second chance or don't you ever put yourself in their shoes? My answer is no, I believe everyone is responsible for his own acts, it is so common that we screw up and need others support but that's when the damage concern us and only us but you can't just be selfish irresponsible causing hurts to others then asking for second chance and accusing them for being successful while you were in hell. Well hell no depend on your own, admit that you were wrong, work hard to take back others trust, just please don't act as innocent. You have chosen the drug to heal your weakness and failure so deal with that. Maybe you will be lucky to find others forgiveness and support and maybe not so in that case don't blame but yourself and move on to build a new life without causing harm to your closest person. I am not cruel I just can't help it and I 've tried hundreds of times to find the addicted person one reason for addiction but I failed so if you have one share it please.

Pride and prejudice

I am in the middle of reading Jane Austin's wonderful novel 'pride and prejudice' I can't describe you how amazing it is. You don't read that novel you live in it, wandering scenes seeing people in formal costumes sitting near the fireplace drinking English tea and having their long conversations about the new rich neighbour or the party they are planning to give, with the wonderful British accent. You just enjoy living in an other world much much different and quieter than ours. I am so fascinated by the notes and small letters going back and forth between neighbours, invitation for a ball, for a visit or for a picnic, letters written by hand with ink pens. How personal these letters were!

 Girls were so naive, sensitive and good at arts, they could sing, dance, play piano, paint, sew and make plans with their mothers for pleasing and attracting the future husband's attention. The second you start reading you can't wait to know if Mr. Darcy will forget about his pride and talk to Elizabeth about his love, will she pay attention to his eyes chasing her everywhere sending her messages, will she let go of her prejudice since he denied her in their first meeting?

 I don't know yet, but what I am sure of -in spite being addicted to technology - that we miss now a lot of these feelings, I mean these human feelings, we miss details and personal things. We kept letting go of details till we became without identity, we are always in a hurry, we are so good at making few clicks on keyboards, mobile phones to catch up with others but still without feelings. You don't have time to express your feelings; you are not Mr. Darcy to keep wondering what Elizabeth thinks or to count days till the next ball or dinner takes place to see her. Now it is much easier all you have to do is sms her or facebook her to see her status, is she single or in a relationship, what is her favorite movie, song, color, sport........etc. You don't have to wonder anything anymore, told you it is much easier now. But you have to pay for this luxury, feelings are no more deep as before, you break up today, you change your status to single, write a few sad words in your display and make few more clicks to delete some sms, chat logs and mails and you're ready to move on and start a new relationship in a month. There is an old saying 'Easy come easy go' so if you don't give feelings what they deserve from your time and care you won't ever know the meaning of real feelings such as love, passion, forgiveness, tolerance.. etc. I believe indifference is the curse of these days, you're in love or you breakup it's even, you have friends or you don't it's even, you're surrounded by people who care about you but you give shit about them, you're indifferent nothing matter with you, you're losing human's features.

So here are some tips:

-          Spend more time showing care for people you love and making real conversations not only chat ones, I was told once by a trusted friend that chat is cheat so keep that in your mind

-          Stop doing more than one thing at a time, don't say how are you and minimize the chat window to do something else ( computer games for instance) since you are super busy and don't speak to anyone without giving him your complete attention, it is so disrespectful to stare at the computer screen pretending listening to what is said.

-          If you don't feel it don't say it even it is a how are you question don't say it if you are not interested in the answer.

-          Show people you care about your love by leaving them sticky notes, surprising them, bringing them chocolate or flowers and by telling them so.

I believe relationships are just like plants you just have to look after them to keep them alive so break the ice, don't be indifferent, pay attention to little details, and stop pretending you don't have time and remember the more you give the relationship the more you get.

OMG how did I forget that?  Read 'Pride and prejudice'

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Technology Addicted Promising To Consider These Tips

Forget About 'The Godfather'

Everybody is obsessed with 'The Godfather' movie they keep telling you that it has answer for every question asked and that it is the best movie to quote from. Well no I am opposed to that, I am so obsessed with that movie 'American history X'. I keep repeating that question probably in every occasion and it works and it helps to find the solution. I'll tell you what the question is but in a while.

  There are hundreds of times when you feel so angry probably at everything work, life, parents, relatives, friends, and maybe sorry to say it at God. You get the feeling that life is so unfear and that you deserve much better than what you got; so you start to destroy what you have. There are a few common steps you go through: Mistreating your parents, not talking to your friends, quitting your job and not praying. But you still feel that there is something missing in spite of coming back to smoking and maybe drinking. Still something missing and you have no one else to focus your anger on. I'll just tell you what is missing; the missing thing is the right question. You were always asking the wrong question. Try this one: Has anything you've done made your life better? Think for few minutes and answer. If the answer was no then it is time to change your strategy, search for real things and relations, search for things you can do and love to do the most. You might love things but you can't do them so it's time to learn and have some real knowledge. Find your way out of the labyrinth by not blaming others and being angry. Get the rid of things holding you back even though they are people you used to know, I won’t call them friends because real friends don’t do so. Nobody can go back and have a new beginning but you can begin now and have a new ending it is one of my favorite quotes. So stop asking wrong questions and get ready for new beginning. Told you 'American History X' is the best movie ever for quoting from. Watch it, and forget about 'The Godfather'

Gifts

How could gifts turn to be a curse that tortures you? It is supposed that gifts give you joy and happiness. I'll give you an example I believe I do have a gift, I remember everything, said, done, birthdays, anniversaries, everything. But lately it had turned to be a curse because I do remember every tiny detail while others forget about the whole things. First my concept was to enjoy my gift and surprise others by remembering almost everything, but suddenly that turned to be so painful because nobody surprises me, I have to remind them first of what I want them to remember. I send midnight birthdays messages, I keep searching for the right present for weeks to simply see the surprised face and to let them know that I care. Well I know you will say it is not a big deal and people get busy in their lives, I understand that and totally have no problem with it, I just had that thought that there is a difference between forgetting because of busy life and making no effort to remember. Sometimes you just hear that voice deep deep inside you, wouldn't it be better if you were like them. The answer is no I'm grateful for having that gift and I became pretty good at finding excuses for others for not remembering almost anything, Maybe he or she is sick, depressed, has problem and need my help and I am so selfish to only think about myself or probably I should not be that demanding or wait wait that is my favorite quote: Never explain.  Your friends do not need it and your enemies will not believe it anyway. So I end by feeling guilty for having these bad thoughts, I'm the one  supposed to be their friend. So conclusion you have to adapt to the duties of your gift and try to forget the mistakes and remember the good things that's my tip.

Are you an owl?!

If you are an owl you'll definitely understand what I am talking about. Have you ever felt that night is your kingdom and that during night and only night you feel free?
Everybody is sleeping, no sound no move, it is only you, your quick clicks on keyboard and the clock tick tacks; you are the hero of that period of the day. Day is for anyone, it is crowded, out of privacy and so different from your night kingdom. I had that reflection because someone asked me why are you staying up all night, that's not healthy? Well I can't answer you, you have to feel it yourself but believe me it worth trying. I try to survive the whole day with people's boring conversations, nagging and stupidity. I am not going to wonder how do people miss that wonderful pleasure by sleeping at 10 , because that would ruin my kingdom and my wonderful private time. If you just have the curiosity of trying one night I'll give you one tip, the whole fun starts after 1 a. m. so enjoy it.

The fear of loneliness

People keep warning you from staying alone till you wake up in your fifties or maybe sixties with nobody around. Just you and your wrinkles; your beauty was gone if you've had any and you have to face yourself every day in the mirror and keep remembering memories. Actually not people only who do so, there is a list of movies in which the gorgeous actor or actress change 180 degrees and ends with a local boy or girlfriend from old town or high school in a wedding or a school reunion day and they live happily ever after and we all see the end with wonderful kiss and deep deep inside us we feel relief since the hero won’t stay alone in his fifties. 

Here I am raising the question what is the hell is that obsession with the fear of loneliness? And till when people will keep saying excuse me for saying it this shit?Well let me say it in other words, what about waking up in your fifties still with your wrinkles to see lying next to you a bald man snoring, don’t freak out it's your lovely husband who whenever feels that you are awake he says some tea and a sandwich without please or good morning. He’s your husband, yes, but you have nothing to share with him. You are married and you are not alone ,I totally agree, but there is nothing in common between you. You have just married him specially for this reason and for that day. While you're staring at that hansom guy you hear the door knocking, ohhhhh!!!!!That's your lovely grandchild holding his toys, forgot to tell you he spends every morning at your place making terrible noise till her mother comes back from work. On your way to the kitchen to start your wonderful journey there, you hear the door closing it's your son off to work without saying a word actually you barely talk, he doesn't like neither you nor his father and he wishes you die as soon as possible to get marry in the apartment and buy a car. I guess it is a busy, wonderful and warm life comparing to staying alone peacefully reading a book or listening to Vivaldi .It is your choice and nobody can force you to do anything and life is full of options so my advice, no who am I to give advices, I just have a thought and want to share it ,because I fed up with the fear of loneliness issue and with seeing girls rushing to getting married to the first one knocking on their doors because of that fear and because of the obsession with the perfect image of happy family seen in movies. I just think that it is o. k. to stay alone till you find the right one and maybe you won't find him which is also o.k. Get a life, dream big dreams, make adventures have hundreds of friends and never stop living and believe that you already have a life and don't wait for someone else to start it. Ah, I forgot you are a complete person so please stop saying I am looking for my other part who will complete me. 

Why?!

Why did I create this blog? Why am I writing?Am I writing for the same purpose as Winston Smith in 1984? Will I say the same?I am writing for the future, for the unborn. No young lady it's not the same case here; talk shows are 24/7 there are hundred of newspapers so nobody is hiding the truth and you're writing in a blog not in a diary hiding from the telescreen so don't overreact.

Since people's favorite concept lately is" laissez faire laissez passer"I decided to highlight some news and share some thoughts to break that rule of indifference even though I am writing to my self .

Sherin Khamis