Who would you choose?!

If you had the chance to meet people from whenever and whenever you want, who would you choose? People you dreamed about, people you wondered how they became who they are or were, so who would you choose? Where are you going to meet them? What are you going to ask them about? All you have to do is to close your eyes and start you journey.
Well let me tell you about one of my favorite journeys, I met my companions in Taj Mahal garden, my first companion who came in time was president Gamal Abdel Nasser, first thing came up in my mind when I saw him was that question: How did you do it? How did you give people that feeling of pride and dignity? How were you 24/7 occupied by finding best and brilliant solutions for Arab world problems? I told him how badly we do need him now and how awful it is not to have a leader for all that time since his gone?
Before answering me he smiled and went to take the hand of my second companion, dr. Taha hussein, so I couldn't help myself, and asked him: what was your motive? Did you just wake up one morning and started to write The Future of Culture in Egypt?- a complete plan for improving the education system in Egypt- Why do you think there are no more people taking these kinds of actions with good intentions? There are thousands of those who make critics or make things worse without making proposals or plans for improvement.

I heard a hem behind my back I turned to find my third companion it is dr. Galal Amin, I smiled and said spontaneously you have no idea how you did change my life and how I owe you a lot, it's because of you that I have that fond of reading now, it is because of you that I do have a perspective in weighing and seeing things, you inspired me from the first book I read- Whatever happened to the Egyptians- and enjoyed all your books even the economics ones. I even used to envy your students those who have the opportunity to attend your lectures a couple of times a week, but I don't have to do that anymore I'm the lucky one walking with you in Taj Mahal garden.

He stopped and pointed at a man sitting under a tree, so I realized it was him, my fourth companion George Orwell, I sat beside him and said: How did you know it? How did you write 1984 in 1948 and knew what life would be like? The governments obsess with manipulating and controlling people, the media and truth distortion, the absence of trust between people and the spread fear everywhere and from everything. You just knew it and forecasted consequences, but no one paid attention or take precautions.

I turned to my right to find my two last super busy companions, the IT guys, Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg, listening to my conversation to George Orwell, so I said: you two did the thing thousands of presidents and kings failed in, which is unifying people, for the first time you met people's needs by different services and products offered by you and your teams. For instance people from everywhere use Facebook, they do have a need to keep in touch with their friends and families, the same for the long list of Microsoft products. This is what I love about you two, it is that you are gifted and unique, you come with the idea in the right time and the right place, without losing time, the thing we miss in Egypt, it's always too late, or it is the wrong timing or place. How I wish young people in Egypt learn from you, they use your products every day without paying attention that young people like themselves programed them, but you can't be unique without knowing how precious is time, and how important are knowledge, hardworking and being determined, that’s what we definitely do miss now.

While I was willing to complete my reflections I heard the voice of president Abdel Nasser laughing with dr. Taha Hossein and dr. Galal Amin near the reflection pool so I felt curious about what they are laughing at, so we all went to join them.

And while we were ready to listen to dr. Taha Hossein stories about his travels and friends, I heard the door knocking with a terrible noise and I unfortunately was interrupted and came out of my imaginary journey with my favorites imaginary companions. But I have enjoyed their company very much, and sometimes when I feel angry, I run to my imaginary world with these wonderful people and it works I always come back in a better mode.

What about you? Who are your favorite persons? Who are your imaginary companions? Where will you go with them? What would you like to tell them? Who will you choose?

Love stupidity

Have you ever noticed that when people think that they are in love they automatically turn to stupid people? Actually I did, so let me tell you about what I have noticed and you focus on your friend or colleague's habits change after telling you he found his soul mate. First of all he or she checks her / his mobile phone for about ten to twenty times in an hour which is so normal to prevent the hazard of missing a call. Second of all you hear the message tone for about fifty to hundred times a day which is also so normal since people in love have to share every tiny detail in life such as I am off to work, I am at work, I miss you, I am having lunch, I am going to the supermarket, I miss you so much, I am back from the supermarket, and important received messages saying miss you too, take care, tell me when you reach home, work, supermarket...etc. As you see how important details are shared, you spent all your life going to work and to the supermarket, crossing the streets all alone ignoring the terrible risk of such activities, till you find your soul mate who truly care -and is not faking that care for sure- to know about everything you do. Wow!! How amazing is that.

After these wonderful sharing steps, you realize that your friend or colleague do not have breaks at work anymore with you because he or she wants to share every single free moment with the soul mate and it is the same for going out and having fun concept, and my favorite part is feeling guilty because you're having fun away from your future partner. Wow again, isn't that amazing?

You see them doing stupid, humiliating things and your role is to draw a smile on your face saying  I am so happy for you, you are so lucky. And when I say humiliating and stupid, I do mean it. Just as finding a man in public place saying with a loud voice I love you, he is not trying to impress the girl or anything- since girls are known for loving these stupid things from movies- no he just felt it and couldn't hold it anymore in his chest, yes yes that's love. Or when you find a girl wearing a bracelet with her fiancé’s name on, or a necklace with a picture, of course it is not too much, it is so normal. Or when you find the girl  who used to be wise crying because of doing a terrible thing, I do not know if you can bear it but I'll say it, she was tired and slept yesterday without wishing the prince a good night she had just fell asleep. Isn't that the most cruel and unforgivable thing you have ever heard

I think it is my blood pressure pill time because I don’t feel well after sharing these memories, but I'll try to continue. What I feel about these bullshit and sorry to say it but I have no other description for it, is that what they do is so far from love, I guess it is called faking, you didn't find the right one so you fake things to feel that he is and you say to yourself fake feeling is better than no feeling and having someone in your life is better than having no one, so you start to imitate and fake things convincing yourself that it's real.

I've been through that so I know what I am talking about. I do believe true love is never stupid, you don't have to send hundreds of messages a day to imitate your care, you just feel worry when you just feel it, not about someone crossing the street or going to the supermarket. You don't have to do stupid things to impress the one you love, a word from the heart will convey your message. You don't have to stop talking to your friends because you are in love; you do so when you're afraid of them telling you you're not.

So my advice is: stop acting and if you don't feel it don’t say it, and know that having a fake feeling is never better than having no feeling, it has to be a real one, never stop talking to people you love and trust for people you have just met and who tells you me or them. And finally please don't send these kinds of stupid sms, and don't say I miss you or love you at the end of the message unless you feel it, do you know that after repeating words without sense you lose the sight of the meaning. And remember you can close your eyes to things you don’t want to see but you can’t close your heart to things you don’t want to feel, so faking might work for a while but won’t work for the whole time.

Secrets

It's all about secrets. Secrets hidden from everybody, bringing us nightmares every night and secrets revealed to people who didn’t deserve our trust and secrets need to be released but we don’t find the one to tell to. So it's all about secrets. There is an old saying: "Secrets are made to be found out with time" The problem is that it's sometimes too late to reveal them, revealing will just cause much bigger harm to wounds healed and apologizing won't be enough. You think you are in control while hiding your secrets, but unfortunately you're not, you live under tremendous pressure trying to keep them in hide and pretending you're fine.

I wish we could give all our secrets away; set them free, without lying because it's then and only then we'll feel inner peace at least for seconds, so if you don't have that trusted friend write them down because holding them all by your own can destroy you.

Have you seen Mcdreamy?

Have you? Please don't ask who is Mcdreamy? Probably you did ask, I don't believe it but I'll tell you, since I am addicted to "Grey's Anatomy series" Mcdreamy is Meredith nickname for dr.Derek Shepherd role played by Patrick Dempsey. Definitely I am not willing to talk to you about the series and I don't mean by my question have you seen that kind of handsome guys with great hair and wonderful eyes, no, I don't mean that by my question, I live on earth. What I mean is have you seen that kind of  guys who hold your hand when you feel down and who cheer up when you’re successful and who are patient and good listeners? Have you seen any of them? Is life that unfair to only let us watch them in the movies and series and then stuck with jerks? Is life that unfair to push you to make compromises till you get nothing at the end?

I know you will say gentle guys are out there but you were not lucky to meet one of them, well maybe but are they that rare that we don't even hear about one of them anywhere around. It's a little weird don't you think? I don't want to meet one of them I just want to know if they do exist in first place. I am surrounded by awful examples of men ruining their families, disrespecting women, not willing to make a tiny effort to reassure them and let them feel that they are there. Woman is a very weak and powerful creature, miracles are made by her in the moment she feels secured and appreciated, but unfortunately nowadays woman is so oppressed and abused, she is pushed to be competitive more than she can bear, everyday she has to prove that she is strong and that she can take more iniquity at work and home. And why do you think is that everyday competition taking place? It’s because she didn't find  Mcdreamy in her life, the one who gives her the needed support, the one who appreciates her effort without using her, the one who want to share opinions with her, the one who knows that she is a woman and has her own needs. And don't get me wrong, Mcdreamy hasn't to be her fiancé or husband, he can be her father, brother, friend or boss at work, a little of his existence will help her much.

For the first time I don't have a conclusion or inspiring solutions it is just a kind of fate and destiny that we girls have to face it since we are living these days. I just have a wish, if you have seen Mcdreamy or know someone who had please tell me, that will really help me and the others to simply know that he exists. 

You are not one of them

You can speak the same language, pretend that this is home, degrade your people, culture, history and deny your roots. You simply melt in their culture, read their papers, listen to their news wander their streets as if you were one of them. Yes you can do all that perfectly till the ugly truth hit you in the face, a big event takes place and you find yourself the first one accused, the first one kicked out, the first one unwelcome. Honestly tell me what is your first step to do after failing in defending yourself and fighting for what you got? Let me tell you it's going home. Yes home, the forgotten home with horrible, narrow minded people, with awful memories of failure and fall. Although it is the single place you are always welcome to. I am not saying it is perfect or it is good at all, no but you can't help it, so it was and so will always be. All I am saying is that you should explore the world and take every chance to expand your knowledge, experience and your wealth but without forgetting that it's not home, you go abroad exchanging effort and hard working with knowledge, money and experience so you become even, you should know deep deep inside you that you are coming home one day upon or against your will. So when you hear that voice inside you when you're abroad don't ignore it and remember that you can't buy another home. A wise man said before that if you don't have history you won't have future, so hold on to your history, culture and roots, put them all in your back pack and go where ever you want.

I have no idea

Are you? Am I? Do they have that right? Do we really owe them that? I have no idea.
Are you a loser? Am I a loser? Define me this word L O S E R? Are we considered losers when we fail in meeting our expectations or when we fail in meeting others expectations? Do we owe others that, meeting their expectations? And what is the limit of others interfering in our lives pretending they do have expectations? And wait a minute who has the right to offend me or you with this? Is it ever too late to start over? Didn't Edison say: I have not failed. I have just found ten thousand ways that won’t work, and what was Edison's teacher feeling after saying to his mother that he is too stupid to learn then finding him Thomas Edison the inventor. I just have some reflections to share so pretend that I am thinking out loud. 

I always remember the little boy saying in the alchemist novel: "When someone sees the same people every day, they wind up becoming part of that person's life. And then they want the person to change. If someone isn't what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own"and this one: "Sometimes it's better to be with the sheep who dont say anything and better still to be alone with one 's books. They tell their incredible stories at the time when you want to hear them. But when you're talking to people, they say some things that are so strange that you don’t know how to continue the conversation"
What I want to say is the more you get close to people the more they expect from you. I do believe that when you care about someone you expect his care back you get frustrated when he or she denies your calls for instance or when you get worry about someone and then you find indifference back. I guess these are normal feelings and expectations but what I find awkward is interfering in others lives, dreams and decisions in the name of love, family or friendship. Close people may hope the best for us, may give us all the needed support, and advices but not in a direct way and in the right time, we do need people who believe in us when others don't. That's what we really expect and need from them not criticism and rejection. Actions otherwise are much far from love and care I'd probably call them obsession with control and inclination to fix people although they don't need that.
I have no idea how to defend our boundaries without hurting people obsessed with control and how to deny their stupid questions such as what are you willing to do or isn't it the right time to take back your action or don't you think you are wrong or my favorite one how come you do think you're right while everybody else think the opposite? Very pleasant questions aren’t they?
Well I do not know what is the right thing to do but I am willing to keep doing what I am doing, what about you?

Friends categories

I have noticed that I do have friends categories, they are all my friends and I love them but everyone plays a totally different role from the other. There are friends who keep your secrets, they know all about you and you do not feel well till you get off your chest what you keep hidden from others to them, they know what you need, they keep listening to you asking for details that nobody may care about to show you their concern, you end your confess with an extreme relief that somebody else but you knows. But you don’t bother secrets keepers with your everyday problems, you keep them for emergency cases, so here comes the second category, everyday friends, these who are online with you the whole day, you call them when you have bad day at work, when you find discounts in the mall, when you buy a new mobile phone or when you need someone to hang out with and you`re sure they'll be there as soon as possible since you are number one on their priorities list. But some of your everyday friends don’t like your activities so let’s jump to the third friends category, activities friends. They are these ones who share with you all your activities- jogging, cycling, swimming, museums visiting, yoga classes...etc.- If  you are in the mood of doing  a new activity all you have to do is to call one of them to spend wonderful time. My final friends category is phone friends, you don’t get ever the chance to meet but you keep in touch and you end your every single call with hopes to meet, you do like them and share with them childhood, workdays or neighborhood memories, in spite of busy life and distance that separate you from them you always find time to make that charming call.

I used to get angry from my everyday friend for not sharing lots of activities with me, or to get upset for not having the chance to hang out with phone friends till I realized that I was expecting things from the wrong person so categorizing friends helped me with looking for the proper friend in the right moment.

P.S.

You can be very lucky and have a common friend between more than one category, you can have that secret keeper and everyday friend in one friend or the secret keeper, everyday friend and activities friend also in one friend. Oh God, how wonderful would that be!!!! If you were that lucky don't let go of that friend and make sure to be a good supportive friend as she or he is.